Monday, January 6, 2014


I wrote this as an answer to Anna Koistinen's beautiful show of concern for her brother's.  She got me thinking.  I didn't know how good it could feel for a woman to not only know about our struggles, but to understand us, and commend us for that fight.  And I wanted our sisters to feel the way I felt.  Thank you sisters for fighting, remember to encourage one another, and to build up the men around you.  You would be surprised by what you can do, there are things that only you can do...  If you somehow managed to find me without going through Anna, you might just want to check out what I'm talking about.

http://bemalleable.wordpress.com/



From one of your many brothers who really care,


Are you a woman?

I’m sorry…

I’m not sorry you’re a woman, that’s wonderful.. I’m sorry you don’t believe that. I’m sorry you don’t know you’re wonderful. I’m sorry you don’t know you’re beautiful.

I’m sorry that everything around you tries to tell you you’re never good enough. I’m sorry that you haven’t been protected.

I’m sorry you’re surrounded by men who’s attention you seem to only be able to get by wearing your underwear to the beach, and making sure you shave off every last bit of hair that isn’t where you’re told it’s supposed to be. I’m sorry that dressing with as little clothing as you possibly can/will get men to tell you you’re beautiful, and women to be envious of you. I’m sorry that the clothes you find in stores often don’t appear to be much more than a dust rag.

I’m sorry that every magazine cover, and advertisement has a woman that you think is more beautiful than you flaunting herself on it. I’m sorry they have been airbrushed and pampered by a crew of professionals, the lighting placed on them just right to accent every part of their bodies, and then even then, it wasn’t good enough; so they sent the image to photoshop guru to alter it into a “perfect” work of art of a woman who could never exist. I’m sorry if you starve yourself to look like that. I’m sorry that men look for that.

I’m sorry you’ve been told that sex will get you what you want from a man. His attention and protection. When what you will get from a man who is not a man is the exact opposite. Abuse, criticism, anger, and violence. I’m sorry that it could even be worse. You could get a man who is ashamed of you because you remind him that he failed to keep himself pure for his wife. I’m sorry… This man will throw you away as if you were trash; to cover his shame.

I’m sorry what you’re father’s gave you may have been as bad as any other man who would seek to use you. I’m sorry because you may not have had a father to protect you. I’m sorry if your father, your uncle, your brother’s best friend, or any other man older then you ever took advantage of you. I’m sorry if they used your innocence, your need for security and kind words, from a man, to abuse you.

I’m sorry if they used your insecurities and pointed out the flaws you think you have to break you down so you consent to their will.

I’m sorry if you’ve ever been told not to be angry, or not to cry. I’m sorry if you don’t know how to cry or how to be angry to the point that you cut yourself to deal with emotions that you don’t understand.

I’m sorry no one has protected you, so you have become hardened and you turn to lying to protect yourself.

I’m sorry you have been looking to a man to provide for you what God has already given you.

ENOUGH!!

Not for one moment, for one second, have you ever lacked the love you have always wanted, do not give yourself to men who will do as they please with you. You don’t need that. Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things that you can not see now will be added to you.

Luke 12:7 Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered.

What you want; what you are hoping for is a man who will love you with the love that our Father in Heaven ALREADY HAS FOR YOU!!

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;26 that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or an such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish.

There are men who do this, there are men who strive to do this. Who understand that women are people like all the rest and for God to tell all of humanity that He truly loves us he had to lay down his life.

I would lay down my life for the one I love if it would teach her how our God adores her. You can be loved like this!

NO! THAT’S A LIE!!!

YOU ARE LOVED LIKE THIS NOW!!!

No more doubting your worth, hiding from shadows, and listening to lies. Find out what the heart of our Father is for you. For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us (read YOU) from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39

You are his beautiful creation that he can present to himself without spot or blemish.

NO!!

You are his beautiful creation HE WILL PRESENT TO HIMSELF WITHOUT SPOT OR BLEMISH!!!

SEEK HIM!!!

Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose.

Phil 1:6 Being confident in this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:

Hebrews 12:1 Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,2 Looking to Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who endured the cross, despising the shame,and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Put away everything that your heart tells you separates you in your mind from your God so you can feel the love He loves you with NOW, and embrace the end to your sorrow. Please!!

He poured himself out for you, he bled out, because he is ravished by his adoration for you because he wants to protect your heart, because he wants you to know now that you ARE LOVED.

NOW!

This life shows us the ends of selfishness. You have felt what the selfishness of others can do to you, you have caused that suffering for others.

You don't need the love of a man.  It will never, ever, be enough for you. So many women hate themselves because they see their men working themselves to death or until they simply give up because their girlfriend or spouse is never satisfied.  Women think there is something wrong with them. Men think there is something wrong with them. No; women are built that way. The only thing wrong is drawing from the wrong source. You NEED and must be FILLED with the love of our Father in Heaven, a man's love is not enough for you. God's love is a fountain without end, and it's yours when you drink from it. Point your brothers to seek the Almighty, and have them ask Him to teach them how He Loves.

But in the mean time, don’t you dare doubt that you are loved. Don’t you dare.

It’s a hard fight sisters, but your heart is safe in His hands. He will protect you.

Don’t give up, we need women like you who won’t give up. Who can help us turn to God and love you with a love that won’t break you down, that won’t wear you out. Because we want to see you smile. We want to see you happy, we want you to feel safe with us. We want to know your dreams, we want to help you reach them. Believe that a man who loves you will want to know your dreams, and will want to help you reach them.

TAKE COURAGE!!

LOVE NEVER FAILS! HE WILL NOT FAIL YOU!

I wish you every good thing,

Sincerely,


One of your many brothers who really care

28 comments:

  1. I'm almost in tears, thanks so much for writing this.

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    1. You are loved. Feel free to share this with anyone you wish. Since these words seem to help people I hope they keep going. Many blessings sister :)

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  2. Thank you for this. It means so much more than you know.

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    1. I'm so happy to have been given the blessing to be a blessing to you. Never doubt you are loved.

      I deleted the old comment because my grammar was bad :(.

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  3. Beautiful. Thank you so much, Jonathan.

    www.elizabethteresestanko.blogspot.com

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    1. You have a connection with youth ministry for young women. I don't know if this will help them, but feel free to use this however you would like. Thank you for helping them, and you're welcome :)

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  4. Thank you so much for this. Sometimes you just need to hear these things from a different perspective, and you have given me that. I'm very grateful to have stumbled upon this post!

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  5. I'm so happy you did too :D, And you're welcome :)

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  6. Not going to lie, feeling a little teary after reading this!

    Jonathan, your post has filled me with hope and encouraged me to stay strong in the battle against peer pressure and media idealisms.

    I wish you all the best :)

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    1. After being able to do so little, for so long; I'm thankful to be able to offer anything to my sisters. It feels wonderful. Thank you for letting me know this helped you.

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  7. I really like this blog post! I am very passionate about this sort of thing. I actually wrote an article about Biblical purity a few months ago. I would love if you could read it and perhaps share it (:
    http://abbeysellers.blogspot.com/2013/05/purity.html

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    1. I wrote my post below before I wrote this reply, but both are to you. I like this one better Abbey, as a man in general.

      http://abbeysellers.blogspot.com/2014/01/modesty-more-than-what-we-wear.html

      I like to hear women taking responsibility for their actions. I have tried to apologize to women for mine. And I don't get very far... Because I'm being creepy...

      If I write another blog, I think I'm going to do an extremely honest man version of this... Because I think I need to make it very clear to my sisters why what they are doing is wrong.

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  8. Very eloquent Abbey. There are so few people that take it as far as you do. It's wonderful isn't it? I don't watch television, I don't watch movies, I only listen to christian music, and I stopped playing video games just recently. I get flak for it quite a lot, but, my heart is pure before our Father. I don't feel a divide. My sins are not separating me from Him. There is nothing in between us, except my current frustrations with my life.

    It's as if we all forget the tree in the garden. It's the tree of the knowledge of, first Good, and then also Evil. As if something that is a mixture of the two could ever be pleasing to our Father. Never say, "It has some good in it," No if it has some evil in it throw it out; but be careful with people. We must love everyone as our Father does.

    I'm not saying I'm not a mixture, mind you, but I know that there is no shadow of turning in Him, and I do not want to go to the tree where I might find some evil mixed in with the good that I want to fill me wholly. I don't think a man can win his battle for purity without going this far. Pornography, which is far more than just what this nation calls porn, and sexual temptation will pull him down if he doesn't set his walls high. I don't know about for a woman. I am a virgin, but my mind has been far from pure.

    As an aside. Sleeping with someone is not adultery, it is fornication. Sleeping with someone's husband or wife is adultery. Fornication is not punishable by death in the Law of Moses, while adultery is. If you fornicate the punishment for that is for the two of you to get married, unless the father of the woman utterly refuses to give away his daughter to that man. It's good to make a distinction.

    I'll share your post on my facebook page :) Have a wonderful day Abbey, and thanks for sharing!

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  9. Ack I keep forgetting to reply to people...

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  10. A friend sent this to me to read. I cried through out it. How can all you say be true? I am trying to believe what you wrote but it is very hard. What I do know is that Gods word is true. Even right now when I do not understand my life I will hold on to who God says He is. My heart is hard but I hope you stay true to all you have shared. It sounds as if God is refining you- I am trying to take faith and believe what you wrote

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    1. Ashley, who made you? Do not forget the greatness of our Father, He knew you before you were born, and He has numbered your steps from the beginning. If you suffer hardship then it is so you may strengthen others who suffer. There is a book called Hope Beyond Hell.. It will help you understand the plan of the Father and His heart for all His children so much more. I strongly suggest anyone who feels hardened read it or get the audio version.

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  11. I just wanted to thank you so much for writing this. Thank you for standing up for purity and for pursuing God with all your heart. Thank you so much for being an encouragement to me and every person who will read this.

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  13. Wow. This stopped me in my tracks, actually stunned me. And yes, caused me to tear up. I basically echo what you started out with: I didn't know how good it could feel for a man to not only know about our struggles, but to understand us, and to encourage us in that fight! Cuz it is a fight. Thank you so much for speaking life into me -- and the many other girls who have been and will be touched by this!

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  14. Thank you for writing this. As much as I try to remember the truth, sometimes it takes a reminder from outside of myself. I am almost in tears, not just because of what you said, but because there is someone out there who said it. The culture makes it seem that there are no men of God anymore. What a lie. Don't stop what you are doing. The Lord is obviously using you in powerful ways.

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    1. Thank you for this, I had been feeling rather down and feeling like I was not being used by the Father, and then someone I don't really know out of the blue says He is using me in powerful ways. Alright I won't stop :)

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  15. I got your link from Anna's article to see if you built yours on her underlying principle that assumes women's bodies to be an intrinsic stumbling block for men. Thankfully you did no more than hint at it, but went on to do what was very well done as a brother encouraging sisters. If you will study my comment on her article you will see my concern. There needs to be more male voices taking responsibility for the male-dominated social "sex"ploitation of women in our culture. You might appreciate another couple of men that have stepped forward against the traditional trend by Google-ing:
    Nate Pyle's "Seeing a Woman: A conversation between a father and son"
    and my own son's
    "Modest Clothing for Women Myth: A Confession"
    They may spur on your thinking in this area.

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  16. Thank you so much for this. This is so, so wonderful and I really needed it today. <3

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  17. Couldn't have said it better, Gods love will NEVER disappoint.

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